Wednesday 9 May 2007

THE CHASE CONTINUES…

He had his eyes set on her the day she entered office. She was beautiful, sweet and a homely kind of girl. The perfect foil for a man like him. He’d been on her trail for the past year now. Checking out her profile on the internet, following her, asking her friends about her, everything. Yet, they hadn’t been able to meet in person. A few online chats was all that was possible.

The mind was made up then. He had to speak to her in person, himself. Nothing else would do. He would be leaving office in a few months. And she HAD to leave along with him.

One day he noticed she’d come alone, not with those pesky friends of hers. She was packing some of her things. WAS SHE LEAVING? Oh no, this was it. He had to speak to her. Before he knew it, she was in the elevator, going downstairs.

He took the stairs. He reached 7 floors down in a jiffy; probably the most agile and flexible human being. But she was heading for Churchgate station, and had caught a taxi. His trusty scooter was ready for him. Just as his luck would have it, whenever she would cross a signal, it would turn red for him. Was this a premonition of what was to happen? But he was a man who wouldn’t take no for an answer. Certainly not when he was this close.

Finally, there was Churchgate station. She had gotten into a Virar-fast. The train had already begun chugging slowly.

He ran for his life, and managed to cling onto the last men’s compartment. She was probably teasing, he thought, because she had turned back once to look at him. The train sped to Mumbai Central, and then she did the strangest thing possible.

SHE GOT OFF, and boarded a train back to Churchgate.

He was bewildered! He was almost being pushed inside by all the people, but he finally managed to break free and throw himself on the platform. WHAT WAS THIS GIRL UP TO? He was sure now that she was trying to play the cat and mouse game. LITTLE DID SHE KNOW WHO SHE WAS UP AGAINST.
Touchdown at Churchgate station. She was at the WHEELER’S Bookstore, reading some book. It didn’t matter now; the time had come. He walked up to her, took out his gun and pointed it towards her head.

“DON,” he said. “I’ve been following you for the past year or so, and want you to join my gang – whether you like it or not. I need a foil for my activities, and I don’t think anyone apart from a simple, homely girl like you would be better. You’re pretty too.”

No response from the girl; she just kept the book that she was reading.

“Please do not pose a problem for me. DON MUSHKILON KE LIYE MUSHKIL PAIDA KARTA HAI (THE DON POSES A PROBLEM TO ALL HIS PROBLEMS).” He loaded the gun.

At the same time he heard ten other similar, metallic sounds. TEN GUNS, all pointing at his head. The girl calmly turned around.

“CBI officer ROMA CHATTERJEE,” was the riposte. “So, what was your dialogue? DON MUSHKILON KE LIYE MUSHKIL PAIDA KARTA HAI (THE DON POSES A PROBLEM TO ALL HIS PROBLEMS)? DON KO PAKADNA MUSHKIL HI NAHI NAMUMKIN HAI (TO CATCH THE DON IS NOT MERELY DIFFICULT, IT IS IMPOSSIBLE)? How stupid all that seems now!” She just snatched the gun from him. “I know you’ve been behind me for this one year. I was sent by CBI to track you down, and I knew the only way to catch you was to make you want me. That’s why; I guess you think I look pretty. But nah, I expected a better fight from the Don – you’ve been caught too tamely. The great Don has finally fallen into a trap! You’re finished Don, all but finished. Take him away officers!”

Don started laughing, “How naïve you are! DON KO PAKADNA MUSHKIL HI NAHI NAMUMKIN HAI! And I stand by what I say!”

“Poor fellow, I think he’s gone mad with his capture. (Mock sigh) It’s ok darling, we’ll have all the care for you… BEHIND THE BARS!”

He still had that evil smile on his face. “Oh yeah, I’d love it if you took care of me personally…”

A hard slap across the face. Roma was good at this. But she noticed some part of the skin came loose! She tugged at it, and pulled it off.

THIS WAS NOT THE DON. Only one of his henchmen!

She was enraged. “WHERE IS THE REAL DON YOU!!???” BANG! A bullet hole right through the henchman’s head.

Time froze. The CBI officers dispersed, and Roma went frantically mad, trying to search for the real Don. It was as if he had disappeared into thin air.

A beggar walked up to Roma. She tried to shoo it away, but he had something in his hand. “UNCLE NE BHEJA HAI (UNCLE SENT IT)”. She asked, “KAHAN HAI UNCLE? (WHERE IS UNCLE)” and the little tyke pointed towards the side entrance.

She rushed there, but there was no one. He was gone. She opened the note, which said:

DON KO ZINDA PAKADNA NAMUMKIN HAI
AUR DON KABHI NAHI MARNE WALA
ISILIYE
DON KO PAKADNA MUSHKIL HI NAHI NAMUMKIN HAI

(IT IS HARD TO CATCH THE DON ALIVE
AND THE DON WILL NEVER DIE
THEREFORE
TO CATCH THE DON IS NOT MERELY DIFFICULT, IT IS IMPOSSIBLE)
The chase continues…

Thursday 3 May 2007

THE SANITY OF INSANITY

(SPECIAL THANKS TO EDGAR ALLAN POE - the best horror writer of all time; this piece is inspired by his classic THE TELL-TALE HEART)
I live alone, all alone, on this secluded island. They put me here for fear that I am mad. But please, I must tell you: I AM NOT MAD. No mad person can ever sit down and write about their experiences as calmly as I am about to do. And yet, they put me on this island. Of all the IRRATIONALITY you can ever think of!
It all started with him, really. Good-looking and handsome, he was my senior by a few years. We worked at the same place, and apart from a two bedroom-hall-kitchen, we shared a very good rapport. We had got caught in the wave of 'LIVE-IN' relationships.
Unfortunately though, there was nothing LIVE-IN about our relationship. He looked upon me just as a good friend, that's all. He hadn't as much as touched me in the past 5 years we'd lived together. To think that I was the most attractive girl at work. Many, many boys and men had asked me out before, and I didn't pay ANY attention to ANY of them. Probably, I was getting a bit of my own medicine back... but to tell you the truth, I DIDN'T LIKE IT ONE SINGLE BIT.
He even rejected my proposal once, saying that he couldn't think of me in that way! HAH!
He had a thing going on with Rashmita, who'd joined office barely 6 months ago. Before that I always felt I had a chance. But then these two were getting too close for comfort. Rashmita was the typical goody-two-shoes type, and my junior. I always gave her the most laborious of work, asked her to do overtime, but then, HE would always remain back with her!! AHHH... how I hated it!
They kept getting closer by the day. We used to have such wonderful conversations after work when we got back home. Once she joined, he used to hardly have time for me. Just reach home and PLONK! on the bed. And even after he would reach home, that girl would call, and they used to speak for hours.
OH GOD! Why did he have to be so damn good-looking??? His smile and his eyes... that's what girls fell for... and that's what I fell for too. He was so good-natured, and had never hurt me... but his actions now were hurting me.
Come on, don't you think my behaviour was entirely rational all the while?? I could've killed him then and there... but I didn't. It didn't work like that for me. Death was too easy a punishment for him.
Me punishing him may seem to be stupid. TO YOU THAT IS. You don't know the pain of being ignored by someone whom you've waited for all your life. I had never done wrong to anybody. And yet it was me suffering. This was just not fair. Rashmita... I wondered whether there was the devil hiding behind those oh-so-sweet smiles. TO be fair, she hadn't done anything wrong to me either. But what the both of them were doing together, WAS WRONG AND UNFAIR. I LOVED HIM. HE WAS SUPPOSED TO RECIPROCATE MY FEELINGS!
It was then that I decided: he must go. And I had drafted a wonderful plan out for the both of them. NO MADMAN CAN EVER THINK OF SUCH THINGS!!! But I did, and it only clearly shows that I am not mad. I was hurt, but not mad!
It was his smile and eyes that girls were after. They must go. And for them to go HE had to go.
I waited every single day for them whenever overtime came. I didn't crib, cry or complain. Waited on them, sweetly smiled and spoke to them for every single day of the week. Rashmita had in fact now grown to like me! (EXACTLY WHAT I WANTED)
This went on for two months. Rashmita had even come to visit him in our flat many times. I used to give them complete privacy (POOR THINGS... LET THEM ENJOY ALL THEY WANT...) and in fact, helped them out on many an occasion, in their so called PERSONAL problems.
I could have killed him all this while, but I didn't for two completely valid reasons:
1) He had gone to sleep and I only hated his smile or his eyes, both of which didn't function while he slept (I wanted him killed when he was awake, when he was smiling)
2) I did not have an idea yet, whether he and Rashmita were REALLY into each other... I mean there was no formal proposal yet.
I again reiterate: no madman would be considerate enough to take into account all these factors!
It was THE night. I had left work early, as I had some shopping to do (you know the usual gal shopping!) and I was browsing through some mail. He came in at around midnight, smiling in his usual good way, but was visibly sweating and was tense. I thought it was pretty strange for the winter season.
Somehow I coaxed the true fact out of him. RASHMITA HAD POPPED THE QUESTION. And he wanted MY opinion on what he should do. I readily agreed to help. His smile came up again, and now I thought was the perfect time to make my move. I told him I needed to go to the kitchen to clean up, then we'd discuss.
DISCUSS INDEED. The knife was kept ready.
I went back to the bedroom. His back was still turned to me, I couldn't do it this way. I asked him to turn towards me. He did so, obligingly, and his smile and eyes, both were in full view. This was the moment I was waiting for.
I KILLED HIM. I put the knife through him about 10 times at least. But if you think I was reckless, think again. I had safely used a tissue paper around the handle of the knife, so that my fingerprints would not be visible. HOW INTELLIGENT IS THAT? And people STILL call me MAD! He stared open mouthed at me. He couldn't do anything.
Then came the more grotesque, gruesome part of the plan. Since I hated his BLOODY GOOD LOOKS, I plucked out his eyeballs, and cut out his lips. SERVES ALL THOSE STUPID GIRLS RIGHT. He looked hideous right now.
I then phoned up Rashmita, and asked her to come over, giving her a hint that he was actually giving her a positive reply. She came all smiling and bubbling, that B***H. I had opened the door and hidden behind the curtains. She came in, wondering where I was. Then she entered the bedroom.
SHE GOT THE SHOCK OF HER LIFE... HAHAHAHAHA...
And she fainted.
What happened next was impulsive behaviour on my part. My plan was to put the knife in Rashmita's hands, and leave immediately.
That WAS the plan anyway. When I saw Rashmita, all that feeling changed. I don't know why.
Why should I run away? I had done something completely normal! Rashmita should be the one to go! Not me!
And then, I killed her too. I chopped her body into little pieces with the big butcher's knife we had in the kitchen. I destroyed her completely for what she'd made me: A MONSTER.
But aha, I hadn't lost my sanity one little bit. What I did next will surprise you and make you think twice about me being mad.
I opened out the floor in the drawing room, where we had kept a hollow box below the floor to store things. No one knew about this apart from Rashmita, me and him. It was small... only one body would fit. I put in his body, followed by really small pieces of Rashmita's decimated body parts. It felt so good! I put a lot of air fresheners and camphor balls within so that it wouldn't stink. I put wooden planks over the bodies, and then concealed it with the tiles. Then I went about washing the entire house with Dettol.
I washed off ALL the blood stains. No signs of it left. The knife was buried along with his body. The house was as spic and span as it was before I had done my deed. And now, I was satisfied.
The next morning, the police arrived at my house. It seems the neighbours had heard someone scream in the house.
(Damn Rashmita, damn those nosey neighbours) But I was calm. I invited them, AND MADE THEM SIT ON THE VERY SPOT WHERE I HAD BURIED THE BODIES.
I offered them juice and snacks, and offered an explanation for the scream as my horrible nightmare. SEE HOW CALM AND COLLECTED I WAS? And about my partner, well, he was out of town on a project. AND THOSE SUCKERS BOUGHT THE IDEA.
We continued chatting on. I started having a splitting headache 15-20 minutes into our chat, and wished the policemen would go away.
Then something extremely frightening happened: I felt that someone was knocking the floor under us. It was a continous knock. And I was hearing voices.
I looked up at the policemen. They were continuing the chat. I tried doing all sorts of things to drown the noise; shout loudly and argue over trivial matters, change topics of discussion.
There was no end to the ticking sound. IT WAS LIKE THE SOUND OF THE DEATH CLOCK, TICKING AWAY... MARKING THE END TO MY LIFE...
AND THE VOICES: PLEASE LET ME OUT, RASHMITA SAYING OH WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME... THE TICKING CONTINUED...
My head was pounding to no end. These policemen were not LEAVING!!! They had probably heard the noise and knew what was happening. They were taunting me.
Any further pounding, and I thought my head would explode. Probably the fever I had the previous night sharpened my senses, and I could listen to voices from hell and heaven (I'm sure those two would've gone to hell for the trouble caused to me!) .
But I couldn't take it anymore. The policemen were now staring at me, wondering what had gone wrong with me.
I took the pick-axe from the storeroom, and ripped the floor below us.
"THERE POLICEMEN, PLEASE DO NOT TAUNT ME ANY FURTHER. THE SOUND YOU HEAR IS FROM THESE HIDEOUS HUMAN BEINGS WHO'VE CAUSED ME GREAT SUFFERING... ALL MY LIFE... THERE TAKE THEM AWAY!!!"
After that, I was transported to an asylum on this secluded island. And I still wonder why... DON'T YOU THINK WHAT I DID WAS SANE? Now if these people cannot understand me... I cannot help it. Say, that doctor there looks charming... what if I try him out???