JATAYU - ENTER RAVANA

It was an extremely large hall. The size of the furniture was at least 10 times that of a normal human being. Mutant guards were scattered around the place, looking for any discrepancy in security. Fully airconditioned and dimly lit, this actually had the makings of a very romantic restaurant (minus the mutants)!

But there was something at the end of the hall that put paid to all that. A large throne-like sofa, and an even larger mutant. But was it just a mutant? It was at least 10 feet in length, probably weighed 500 tons quite easily (wonder how the sofa withstood that!) and had TEN HEADS.

TEN HEADS. No mistake. THIS WAS RAVANA.

Closer inspection made it clear that the sofa was pure titanium. And he was sitting on the sofa, licking his fingers and yo-yoing with a human head.

HE WAS YO-YOING WITH A HUMAN HEAD, and in deep thought.

"Ahmmmm... diabetic humans are tasty. They're going to die in any case, so I helped this one out by eating him up. Fortunately we guys don't get diabetes. But I crave, I yearn for man-birds. I eaten one just once, and that was eons ago, when I was a little kid. I need their hearts, it's so tender and filling."

Grotesque, but Ravana had all the best qualities otherwise- super-strength, paranormal powers, intelligence only matched by Jatayu, a monstorous appetite for knowledge. But... he unfortunately chose the side of evil. Head of all criminal operations in the entire universe, he headed a group known as THE MUTANT AVENGERS, created for the purpose of expulsion of all beings apart from mutants. If good mutants came in his way, he would do away with them as well!

"Ah sir, as you know the defence network of the bird mutants is quite strong. We need to break that network down to accomplish our mission. Then you can have all the man-birds you want, sire, and..."

"... to break this network we must find of a way to get Jatayu out of the way." Ravana completed the sentence. "But how? He is immortal isn't he??" asked agent XX1.

Ravana gave one of his wicked smiles. "Who said immortal means unbeatable?"

XX1 smiled too. He was the opposite number, the counterpart of agent 001. They hadn't met in physical combat yet, but as XX1 was a mutant, far stronger than 001, he desperately wanted to have a showdown himself. But now his mind was on Jatayu.

"But sire, we can't kill that fellow! And he can rejuvenate! What else..."

"... we have with us his biggest weakness!" roared Ravana, as he pointed towards the giant 3-D screen.

A dim, dank, dark dungeon. The lights were turned on.

A pitiful sight: tortured, injured man-bird... WITH ONLY ONE WING. He was breathing, but only just. It was as if the life had been sucked out of him. But he was mumbling something, "Wait... wait... Jatayu... he will come... huh-uh... w-w-w-w-ait..."

Suddenly agent XX14 entered the room. "Bad news sire. Agent XX7 has failed in his viral attack mission. Jatayu killed him and he's on his way here!"

The man-bird of the dungeon seemed visibly happy at this development. Strangely enough, so did Ravana.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!" He roared with his evil laughter. "Agent XX7 was just a plant my dear friend. This is EXACTLY what I was hoping for. Now Jatayu... let me see whether you've improved from the past... we shall combat again!"

Meanwhile, as Jatayu soared towards the land of Lanka, he heard a familiar voice in his head:

"Jatayu... it's a trap... I'm alive... but don't come here... please... go back... g-g-g-oo... "

The voice faded away, but Jatayu froze in his tracks.

Could it BE???? But how???

How was it possible after all these years??

He did not heed the voice. He continued his onward surge to Lanka - with renewed vigour and confidence.

Little did he realise the peril that lay ahead...

TO BE CONTINUED...

PEEK-A-BOO!

It was a dark and gloomy evening, coupled with heavy rains. Forest officer Anand Bannerjee cast a look at the Sunderbans. It looked beautiful, even in the dark.

It was just about 4:00 p.m. Queer place, he thought. Even after 25 years in the eastern parts of India, he still didn't understand the logic of sunrise and sunset. He had been to all parts of India, and never had he experienced darkness at 4:00 p.m.

The last year had been pretty strange as far as forest activity were concerned. In the first 24 years of his posting, he never had much activity apart from the odd poaching incident and accidents of humans. Life was as lonely as it was peaceful. Anand had no family to speak of. His parents were no more, and he felt getting married or even involved with the 'fairer sex' was a waste of time. He hated children, moreover.

But in the last year, there were atleast 10 human deaths. And all those dead bodies had one thing in common: the eyes were almost BURNT out, so to speak, but the bodies were totally untouched. Anand was put on the mission of finding out the causes of the deaths. And a person who had never ventured into the Sunderbans after sunset, had to do so now. It was a matter of keeping his job as a forest officer.

The forest was kept off human limits for three months. That was the deadline, the target given to Anand to complete his mission. Daily, he would go into the forest at 4:00 p.m. and come back by 12:00 midnight. 8 hours of hard work, with no result. He was into the last week of the third month. Anand wondered whether it was some kind of divine intervention that was keeping him safe.

Today, though, it was raining heavily. And the trees seemed to be whispering some unknown secret. It was inviting Anand to have a look.

He was not the adventurous type. But today was a queer day anyway.

So with a raincoat, a pair of gumboots, a bottle of rum and his trusty rifle, Anand set off into the wilderness.

It took him about 20 minutes to reach the forest. By that time, the rain had stopped. It was almost pitch dark by now. Crickets and grasshoppers were chirping away. The wind was still howling though, and the swaying trees seemed to be saying: "W-H-E-RRRRR-E WWWW-I-LLLLL YOUUUUUUU GOOOOOOOO!" Eerily, by the time it reached the word GO, it was shrieking. The words had a strange premonition about them.

Anand chucked the rum bottle. Whoa, he'd had too much to drink. Time to get a grip on oneself.

He entered the forest. His eyesight was quite keen, and his ears were sensitive to even the slightest of sound. Strangely enough, he could hear drums beating. It happened to be his own heart.

"I MUST STOP DRINKING! I MUST!", he said, trying to shake off an imaginary inebriated self. He happened to realise just minutes later, that he was NOT drunk. He was actually hearing the sound of his heart beating.

Why? He looked around. There wasn't anything for him to be scared of. He took a look at his watch, and almost fainted in shock.

It was almost midnight... how come? He turned around to retrace his path. THERE WAS NO PATH. He was surrounded by trees, darkness, and a whole new lot of strange sounds.

He tried to run. But where to?? He now understood the meaning of the swaying trees.

After running a while, he rested his hand on a tree trunk. He had to get back somehow. It must be only a bad dream, he thought to himself. He was going to get up and everything would be back to normal.

Unfortunately, when he faced the tree he was resting on, he realised that this was no dream... it was a NIGHTMARE. Two spots were gleaming at him from the tree. When he backtracked, he realised those actually could be EYES. They were closing and shutting, closing and shutting.

"WHERE WILL YOU GOOOO!!! HAHAHAHAHA!" the voice had become harsher, more chilling. The tree seemed to be swaying it's branches about. One branch came and cut across Anand's chest.

"AAAAHAHHHHHHHH!!!" It hurt. He was bleeding. A big cut right across his chest. The other trees had come to life. They were all saying the same thing. "WHERE WILL YOU GO?? WHERE WILL YOU GO??"

Anand ran about wildly looking for a path to escape. His worst nightmares were all coming true. Sounds of wolves howling, the trees screaming, and no place to go. Perfect. THIS was why people were dying.

BUT WOULD HE GET OUT TO TELL HIS STORY?? He looked at the path of light. It seemed inviting. He was sweating and bleeding profusely. It was the best chance he had.

It was like a hundred metres dash. All the trees began closing in on him. He sprinted towards the path. IT WAS THE WAY OUT! He kept going on and on and on...

Finally his small forest house was visible. He kept running and running and running.

REACHED! Phew... he turned around and looked at the forest. He almost fainted again.

IT WAS AS IT WAS BEFORE. He looked at his watch. JUST 8 P.M.

WHAT WAS HAPPENING TO HIM???? He WAS dreaming after all wasn't he??

He opened a bottle of rum, and gulped it down. He needed the rest. It was a harrowing experience. Those words were still ringing in his ears.

Suddenly, he heard the sound of sobbing. SOMEONE WAS IN HIS BEDROOM.

He rushed towards the bedroom. It was a small girl, with her face in her hands, in torn, tattered, blood-stained clothes. "What do you want?? WHO ARE YOU??" He asked in a harsh tone. He didn't like children, remember?

"I got lost in this forest for the past year. I couldn't get out. SOB! SOB! I survived somehow. I WANT MUMMY! I WANT PAPA! SOB! SOB!" all this with her face still firmly in her hands.

Anand was shocked. ONE WHOLE YEAR?? How didn't he spot her then?? Pity entered his hitherto hard soul.

"OK, my dear, I shall take you back to where you belong. Don't worry. Come with me."

"First I want you to play a game with me. Please. My mummy would always play with me when I would be sad"

Anand thought it was ridiculous, but.... "Oh! ok! Tell me what is the game about?"

"Whenever I would put my face in my hands like this, my mummy would come along..." Anand looked at his watch again. He thought his watch had gone mad.

IT WAS EXACTLY MIDNIGHT.

"...and try to cheer me up" Anand, scared, got up, but was still looking at the girl, whose voice had turned into a blood curdling kind of howl. "She too would get up and try to move away from me... but I would then open my hands out... HAHAHAHAHAHA" IT WAS LIKE THE DEVIL LAUGHING. "...and tell her..."

There was a chilling silence....

"PEEK-A-BOO!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHA!"

Anand's eyes started melting out of his sockets. It was searing pain, almost as if it was burnt by acid. He started suffocating. The only last thing he remembered seeing was a pair of bright yellow eyes twinkling like stars, a mouth that was so soaked in blood he didn't remember seeing the teeth, and almost no nose. A face pockmarked by tigers pug-marks strangely.

Before he breathed his last, the monster girl revealed to him. "I was murdered brutally by a tiger in this very forest last year, Mr. Anand, and you turned a deaf ear to my screams and pleads! I lived off the bodies of all the people who wished to visit this forest! You preferred to sit back and have your bloody rum, didn't you? YOU HATED CHILDREN!!!! NOW YOU SHALL DIE!! AND MY SOUL CAN NOW REST IN PEACE!!!!"

With that, Anand died. And the girl disappeared.

After 3 days, Anand's deadline expired. The senior forest officials were horrified when they found Anand's body. Just like all other bodies, his eyes were burnt out, the rest of his body untouched. When they were about to take him away, a junior forest officer came with a young girl. "Sir, she got lost in the forest. We must take her back home." Everyone readily agreed. The girl was sweet, and very talkative.

And as they walked out of the forest house, the girl glanced back. HER EYES GLEAMED YELLOW FOR A SECOND...

ANYBODY READY FOR A GAME OF PEEK-A-BOO?

JATAYU - THE GOD OF BIG WINGS

“JATAYUUUUUUUU…” bellowed agent 001. The fuse had blown up again. Critical data was at stake. The backup battery couldn’t hold on for more than 5 minutes. You’d imagine it could during such technologically advanced times. And this was supposed to be the government’s secret service. But then, there you are. Even the best can’t handle pressure sometimes.

“JATAYUUU…” he howled again. “Where is he when you need him?!”

And then… from nowhere he emerged. He was about 100 metres away. The battery couldn’t hold on for long. He spread out his great wings and just glided towards the power house.

He was tall and powerfully built. All of 7 feet 9 inches tall, and with a body that would put any decent wrestler to shame. His wingspan was about 4 feet on either side. The beak was majestically shaped, and his wing bones were harder than titanium. He needed to wear only a pair of shorts. Extremely keen eyesight, and armed with a brain not matched by almost anyone else in the universe.

The power was restored, just within seconds of the backup battery failure.

“Whew! You’ve done it again Jatayu, thanks a million!” Jatayu only smiled. This was probably one of the most trivial things he’d ever have to do.

It was circa 2975 A.D. Evolution was not quite Darwin-like any more. More species, more races had turned up. Mankind still existed, but only just. Animals were extinct. Instead, as a kind of compensation, there was the MUTANTKIND. Species that were half-animal, half-man. Going into the details of every kind would probably take light years to explain. Corruption and other vices were rife. Evil mutants were desperately trying to take over the universe. The earth alone had enough crime syndicates and terrorist groups to cover the solar system. Evil humans and evil mutants made for a deadly cocktail.

Then why was it that most things were STILL in order? All evil was still under control?

They say that a messiah is sent by God to uproot all evil forces. The single force who will be the sole protector of the universe. And there was only one natural force for the entire race of evil beings to reckon with, and that was…

“JATAYU! You manage to do it every time! Thank God for you!”

Jatayu calmly replied, “001, I’ve been doing it for a couple of months now, and I’ve told you, SOMEONE is always tampering with the wires! I just can’t figure out who! And what if I’m not able to make it on time all the time HAA??”

“Don’t worry, we have faith in you. You’ll do it. You’ve always done it.”

Every agent in the Government’s Secret Service (GSS) had blind faith on Jatayu because of his inherent superhuman abilities. There was also another fact that separated him from the rest – HE WAS IMMORTAL. And he was the only being to have this power. He could be maimed, injured – but not killed. And he could restore to his normal self within a matter of 2 hours if left alone.

He sat across the table, facing 001. 001 was one of his most trusted human agents. They were buddies ever since 001 was recruited into the service.

“I feel like a fag” said 001 as he pulled out a pack of cigarettes. He suddenly remembered Jatayu sitting across the table. He quickly tried to hide the pack back, but before he could have it, Jatayu had converted it into dust. He looked sternly at 001, “How many times have I told you NOT TO DO THAT????” Jatayu had a heavy, husky voice, quite unlike a bird’s. His glare was enough to freeze even the devil in his place.

“OK! OK! I am sorry!”

“No it’s not the question of being sorry. It’s INJURIOUS TO HEALTH CAN’T YOU…”

Jatayu suddenly turned and looked at the window. No one seemed to be there. He took the mike and made an announcement. “ALL AGENTS PLEASE AUTO SAVE AND SHUT OFF YOUR DATABASES IN 2 MINUTES FLAT! WE HAVE AN EMERGENCY!”

001 was stunned. “WHA…”, and before he could complete, Jatayu had disappeared through the window. The building of the GSS was very tall, and the power house was just an arm jutting out of the topmost floor. Only accessible to mutants, and almost out of the reach of humans.

It was the lifeline of the GSS. Once the power house was down, their entire database of evil beings would be wiped away. The backup would always take time to restore, and that too was partially corrupt data. Jatayu was the only answer.

Meanwhile, an evil ape mutant had made his way to the power house. All he had to do was insert a virus into the power house. Orders from the top brass. He would be richly rewarded. Everything was ready. Just insert this chip into this board and…

“If you needed a midnight snack, you should’ve asked me. And in any case you monkey, this isn’t the kitchen” It was Jatayu.

The ape found himself tied to a chair in the midst of humans and a couple of man-birds. The room was dimly lit. And he was being questioned.

“Where have you come from?” asked 001. Agents 002 and 005 used sticks and physical measures, but to no avail. The ape mutant was too strong for them. He just smirked and ignored all their protests.

He was even too strong for the other man-birds. They were quite young in any case, and their claws had no effect on them.

The ape was wondering though, why he wasn’t able to free himself from the wires in the chair. They were unusually strong. And when he looked up, all humans and man-birds were laughing at him. Suddenly, a huge figure appeared in front of him.

It terrified him no end. It was the same man-bird that had caught him in the power house. Jatayu could scare ANYBODY.

His claws were out. “Where are you from, dear ape-man? I have no patience for creatures like YOU!” His voice became huskier when he was impatient, and his eyes were blood red. It was a chilling stare. Everything came tumbling out. “I…I…I was sent by the evil ten headed demon R-R-R-R-R-AVANA, to enter a virus in the system here that would erase all records of the evil beings…. H-h-h-h-h-h-e promised to p-p-p-p-p-ay well for it…”

Jatayu went wild on the mention of Ravana. He was the mutant of a hydra, and anytime anyone would cut one of his heads off, it would grow back on again!

He just picked the ape and threw him out of the window in anger. Jatayu had a history with Ravana, and it wasn’t a very happy one at that.

Everyone rushed out of the building to get the body of the ape. Only 001 stayed back. Only he knew of Jatayu’s painful past. “Hey pal, you’ll need help this time. I’ll ask someone to come with you to…”

“NO! NO ONE WILL COME WITH ME!” Jatayu roared. “This is a score… a score I have to settle alone… it’s PAYBACK TIME!!! RAVANA… here I come!”

He pushed 001 aside and went to the prayer room. He was a believer of God. And he prayed aloud,

“Shree Vakratunda mahakaya koti soorya samaprabha,
nirvighnam kurumedeva shubha karyeshu sarvada”

(“O lord with the twisted trunk, with the effulgence of a billion suns, always remove the obstacles when I am on an auspicious undertaking.")

And with that, Jatayu shot off to the LANKAN PRESIDENCY… taking with him painful memories… and a score to settle.

TO BE CONTINUED…

THE ONE DAY OF MADNESS

Time is a strange element. It has the power to deceive, stopping during moments of danger and sorrow, and running through moments of happiness or safety. And yet, on its own, it has passed through from the time the universe has started till now at a same pace.

It’s what Einstein proposed: Time is relative. Therefore, relationships that happen within time are also relative. It may mean different things for different people. Perceptions differ. And so do the emotions that come with those perceptions.

And hence, I have discovered that the most fascinating time-frame is of a day: 24 hours. The speed with which perceptions, emotions and relative actions change within this time period is quite absorbing to observe.

Before this turns into a science and psychology class, let me begin with this strange tale of ONE DAY. It seemed to be like any other day; but it was unusually hot. Yes, and that was enough to drive me round the bend. I hated heat. Little was I aware that the day would only bring more heat… of a different kind.

After the early morning ablutions, I was all set and ready to leave for work, when I received two missed calls on my mobile phone. The numbers were unknown. I called back on both of them, and in both cases, the receiver would pick up the phone, but not say anything. I wondered whether these were two different people who called, or whether it was the same person making two different calls. Logic said it would have to be the latter, but life’s experiences had taught me that ANYTHING was possible.

Thinking about this, I drove to work. It was possibly a crank call. GOD! I almost had an accident thinking about it. DAMN! Why was I thinking about those stupid calls? It was just a joke, a practical joke. Right? I mean, who was stupid enough to call me twice at 8:00 am in the morning?? Oops! There goes a headlight! Or, who are those TWO people playing pranks on me? Ah! Scratched the side of my car! WHAT WAS HAPPENING TO ME??

I finally reached office by 9:15 a.m. after leaving home by 8:45. A journey that generally took me 15 minutes everyday, today took me half an hour! And the best part is, I didn’t realise until I got a rollicking from my boss for being late. See the effect of time and thinking? You get lost in thoughts and go into a time warp.

My desk was as untidy as the day before. As I sat down to begin the days proceedings, my female colleagues, Smita and Rita came and sat by my side. They wished me in their usual sweet, sing-song way. And as has been the routine for the past 6 years I had worked here, they began with their daily reports, and work to be done today. These would be interrupted sporadically with some of their own personal problems and situations that face them in their daily lives. I was like an AGONY UNCLE to them, so to speak.

After that, when they dispersed, I sat down to work. Suddenly a thought struck me, like a bolt of lightning. It was an open secret in the office that both these ladies… well… both these ladies LOVED me (LOVED me or had something else in mind I don’t know). They had even proposed marriage to me on separate occasions when I was a fresher in the office. Both were bitter rivals (in this respect) and had even challenged each other as to who would FINALLY get me. Sadly enough for both of them, I had interest in neither one. And like all FAMOUS love stories, this one died a natural death.

Or so I thought. Those phone calls were still lingering in my mind. NOW they assumed more significance. I hadn’t told anyone about them yet, because I knew the obvious response that I would get. Two missed calls, one after the other, and my past history with these ladies was actually sufficient enough to prove that they’d done it. Why, after 6 years, I don’t know. Heck, I wasn’t even sure if it was them! But...

I went about office that day like a cat on a hot tin roof. And the worst part was I had to work with them! Checking out reports, searching files, analysing content… it had to be the three of us! The entire office kept a ‘motherly’ eye over me (please do not ask me what that means!). And they always came with me in this form: Smita on my left and Rita on my right. Our first assignment was to finalise body copy for a print ad for a cold drink company (Oh sorry! In all this ‘thought process’ I forgot to mention that I work in an ADVERTISING AGENCY as a copywriter…)

We were taking unusually a lot of time over this. When I finalised an idea given by Rita, Smita would oppose and vice-versa. I finally lost my cool on them and finalised the copy. Both of them went away unhappily, staring at me. I feel that they give me looks all the time. The entire office was smirking. It was like HATE BOTH GET BOTH FREE offer. It was abominable! I was feeling like a complete ass today (yeah it’s happened before, but today took the cake!)

3 hours to finalise advertising copy over two ladies. Boss was at his HARI SADU best, again (for those who don’t know what HARI SADU is, well, he is the synonym for the TYPICAL BAD BOSS… got it now?) and as I was getting it nicely, those two ladies kept supporting me! Oh God this was bad. The entire office was there, and I was the centre of attraction. They even took turns to pat me on the back, or catch my hand (EEKS!). I wondered how much I was going to pay for those missed calls.

All this happened, and then I took a look at my watch. It was only 2 p.m.! Oh God no! I had to spend at least 3 hours more with those two. And they would be with me the whole time. I just couldn’t stand it. As I went to get some coffee from the vending machine, I overheard one of their spats. It was the usual you-stay-away-from-him type of spats. They spoke something about a cell phone, and something about calling.

I was returning to my desk, and froze in my tracks. Stay-away-from-HIM? CELL PHONE? CALLS? I slapped my head and realised that they were actually speaking about ME!

I then decided what I had to do. This had to stop. NOW. Before any more damage was done.

I took what then seemed to be as probably the biggest risk in my life. I went up to each of them (separately, of course!) and proposed my love to them (YUCK!). They were supposed to meet me at the restaurant next to the seaside, by 6:00 p.m. For good measure, I told each one not to tell the other.

This, surprisingly, drew different reactions from each of them. Smita was happily shocked, and she kept asking me as to why I hadn’t told this to her earlier, what happened to me now, etc. I managed to cook up some story about HIDDEN FEELINGS and things I had probably never even dreamt about. She seemed happy, and readily agreed. Sad she didn’t know what was in store…

Rita surprised me. She was more sadly stunned rather than happily shocked. And she couldn’t ask me anything. It was like she had lost her power of speech. (Serves you right for troubling me you…!) She was fumbling for words and in the end, she just managed a weak ‘yeah, I’ll catch you there’ kind of response. I patted her on the head and said everything will turn out just fine. Oh yeah, it would.

Those hours until 6:00 p.m. flew like a rocket. I was lost in my work, and I also managed both of them very well. Then at around 4:30 p.m. both of them left. I stayed on until about 5:30 to complete the tasks for the day. That way there would be nothing pending for tomorrow. Or would it be appropriate to say that there would be NO TOMORROW?

5:45 p.m. I reached my destination. But I didn’t go to my table. I waited in hiding for the two ladies to arrive. Smita arrived first, and I must say, for the first time ever in my life, I felt that she was actually looking pretty! (Then the voice inside me said, MAKE-UP! MAKE-UP!)

I then waited for Rita. It was the longest wait of 10 minutes I’d ever had. At 6:00 p.m. sharp, a waiter appeared with a letter for ME and delivered it to Smita. He kept it on the table. This was a slightly worrying turn of events. No Rita, just a mysterious letter, and Smita looking around.

She couldn’t resist herself could she? The letter was in her hands, and she was going through the contents.

What I then saw shook me up completely. Smita was on the verge of tears, and trembling. She screamed loudly in the hotel, and VOWED TO KILL ME.

I went blank for ten seconds. It felt like ten years. Smita rushed to the beach. I rushed out after her.

“SMITA!!” it was probably a stupid thing to do at that time, but I was worried to death. I needed to know what was happening.

She turned around, and gave me the most frightening stare. I worked up the courage to walk up to her and ask what was happening.

A resounding slap. Yes, and this time I felt as if I deserved it. She questioned my intentions. She questioned a lot of things. I sheepishly said that I just wanted to teach them a lesson. I wanted to play one against the other. I told her of the missed calls and the days events.

Another one on the cheek. The enmity between them was actually over the time I rejected them both. They had got on with their lives. And in fact, Smita had gotten over me. Rita was the one who was slightly inclined towards me. I felt like a complete jackass (again!). Rita in fact had gotten hooked up with a bad guy. Smita was trying to get her away from it (that explains the STAY-AWAY-FROM-HIM thing). And… they had not made ANY calls to me in the past 6 years.

Then I read Rita’s letter. Oh God, she still loved me. But her infatuation for this BAD guy had gone too far, and she had promised to marry him. She couldn’t make up her mind, and she couldn’t handle the pressure. She decided to commit suicide by drowning herself.

I ran towards the shore, screaming out her name. So did Smita. We saw a crowd gathered at a part of the shore. The worst thoughts were running through my mind. I ran towards that crowd. There lay Rita, unconscious. She was breathing, though only slightly. We rushed her to the hospital.

We reached the hospital by around 7:00 p.m. Time had gone slow again. Smita was still giving me those smouldering looks, and muttering something like, ‘if anything happens to her…’

That night, at the hospital, Smita opened out to me. She was indeed angry, but seeing me also concerned and quite tense, she realised that I was not so bad after all. She spoke of how they softened their stance against each other, and how they became really good friends. Rita, it seemed, always had something for me, but some guy (who Smita suspected was into DRUGS) swept her off her feet. Rita was quite like that, a small child who could be easily influenced. Smita was the more practical of the two.

The doctor came out at around 11:00 p.m. and fortunately, there was nothing much to worry. Rita had just swallowed a lot of salty water, and was pinched by a crab. No other damages. She just needed a good nights rest. So did Smita. So did I.

I don’t know when I went to sleep, because I remember getting up directly at 8:00. I had slept on one of the benches. Smita had slept on my shoulder. I tried to get up without disturbing her, but she got up too. We were about to go and meet Rita.

“You must marry Rita. That’s the only way she’ll be able to overcome this trauma. And THAT’S how you will atone for your sins!” She spoke like a true woman of justice. “What about you?” I asked. Smita said, “I USED to like you once upon a time… now… I’d be better off single!” I managed a weak smile, and thought to myself… Rita truly loved me… every other girl I had flirted with was only after my looks or my money… but I was still confused about Smita. She knew what I was thinking, “Don’t worry… you know that I’m a strong girl… you raised my hopes briefly yesterday… but Rita deserves you more than I do… she truly loves you… and if you try to wriggle out of this, I am going to kill you.” She smiled as she spoke. It was chilling calmness. “Go get her tiger!”

I entered the ward, and popped Rita the question. She wasn’t aware of my plan the day before (thankfully!) and she readily agreed. We hugged, and I felt a special kind of warmth in that hug. We got married within that hospital ward itself! The priest was called for the ceremony, and Smita was our witness.

And today, after 5 years of marriage, and a good healthy kid, the three of us were together and were thick friends. Rita had matured, and was a lot stronger than before, while Smita only grew in stature. She was to get married herself in a couple of week’s time.

But one question still lingered in my mind… WHO ACTUALLY GAVE THOSE MISSED CALLS?? I still had those numbers with me on the cell phone…

Smita came from behind and saw my blank face. I wanted to ask her about those numbers.

Before I could say anything… she said, “Tiger, those calls were made by me… in case you’re wondering.”

Somehow, she could always read my mind. ALWAYS. And she had read it even when she made those calls…

APRIL FOOL!

If there was anything Mr. Kapoor was interested in, it was BRAGGING. All of 50 years old, he loved babbling on and on about his tales of bravery and adventure. To top it all, he would ridicule guys and gals of my age, saying that we were softies and had been brought up in glass cases, with no exposure to the harsh world! He prided himself on the fact that he'd never got a heart attack, and he was as strong and healthy as a 20 year old man. Nothing could scare him, it seemed. He was always prepared for any eventuality.

I know you're getting as bored as I would always get listening to his mindless dribble over and over again. My parents would always tell me to take Mr. Kapoor as an example. Yeah! As if I didn't have better things to do! Take a fat, obnoxious, middle-aged piece of fat as my role model! I'd rather watch those daily soaps and APPRECIATE their beauty!

We'd had endless arguments on the topic of FEAR. He never seemed to appreciate a good Hollywood horror movie, saying that only sissies could be scared by them. I was really tired reiterating one fact to him: movies were only a reflection of real life, and ANYONE would be scared by real life horror. As usual, he pooh-poohed all these suggestions that he could ACTUALLY get scared. My ears were ringing with these words: SISSY! SOFTY! Having to learn fearlessness from an old man like me! And all such crap.

No one had the courage to stand up to him like me, unfortunately. Everyone just tolerated his nonsense silently. But enough was enough. Mr. Kapoor had taken his bragging a bit too far. All fool's day was just around the corner. I needed to do something. But I wasn't able to come up with anything constructive.

In the meanwhile, our middle-aged superhero had taken on a challenge. We had a dilapidated 18th century building on the outskirts of our town, just 20 minutes away from our colony. No one had ever visited that building - rumours of ghosts and strange voices were enough to keep people away. An enterprising young friend of mine had the guts to stand up to Mr. Kapoor, and challenge him to survive 24 hours ALL ALONE in that building. This obviously stirred Mr. Kapoor to no end, and he was determined to prove his bravery. Old men can be obstinate!

The day had arrived. People from our colony had all gathered at the place by 8:45 am. The fatso would enter the building by 9:00 am, and would have to survive there till 9:00 am the next morning. If he did, we would never hear the end of it!

As the gong sounded nine, he entered the building. The people of the colony slowly went back to their homes. Only a few stayed back on the site to check on Mr. Kapoor. I came back home. In any case, there wasn't anything much for me to do. I was only hoping he'd come back out scared before 9 a.m. That way we'd have less to listen to!

Mr. Kapoor entered the building. The door was too old and almost fell off as he closed it back shut. Cobwebs were dangling all over the place. It had an old, dank smell about it. And although it was daytime, it was quite dark from within. Bats kept fluttering all over the place. And it was silent. You could actually LISTEN to the silence. It also had long, winding stairs upwards.

Having forgotten all his bravado, Mr. Kapoor was starting to feel not-so-brave after all. He still kept reassuring himself, saying "HAH! If they think I will be scared by this building, they are mistaken! This is no better than a child's theme park! This..." WHOOSH! A bat suddenly flew across his face, shutting him up permanently. He could hear the sound of his own heartbeat. (Feeling like a horror movie, Mr. Kapoor?)

He stayed put at that very spot till the evening around 7:00 p.m. It was a full moon night, and the light from the moon peeped through the cracks in the wall and cast itself across the wall adjacent to where Mr. Kapoor was sitting. He was totally petrified, and was praying that 9 a.m. would come really soon.

Suddenly, a large shadow cast across the wall. Mr. Kapoor jumped in fright. It seemed to be a tall creature, but the shadow was blurred. As the creature drew closer, Mr. Kapoor started to sweat. It had long fangs, and two claw-like hands. And it was making the most chilling noises. Wailing away, the shadow came closer to Mr. Kapoor. He got up and began to run up the stairs. (How's your heart NOW, Mr. Kapoor?) No matter how hard he ran, the shadow followed him. He wasn't able to see the creature - only it's horrible shadow.

This cat and mouse chase went on till about 11:45 pm. He STILL wasn't able to see the creature. (What about your boast that only what you SAW you could scare you huh?). He was breathing hard. His so called BRAVE HEART was beginning to work overtime.

DEAD END! There was no further place to run or hide. The shadow grew bigger, the voice became all the more chilling. It echoed throughout the building. The fangs and claws became bigger. Mr. Kapoor was now wide-eyed and totally petrified. And just as the shadow was about to consume him, he fell down with his eyes and mouth wide open.

Mr. Kapoor was dead. Stone dead. Hmmpf! For all those idle boasts! The creature came out of the shadows and rested calmly on his chest. It was nothing more than a cat, clothed under a white sheet.

The next day was All Fools Day. At 9 a.m., everyone waited eagerly for Mr. Kapoor to come out. Talks of his bravery were already doing the rounds. I didn't join in. I was just waiting there, waiting for him to come out and boast.

No sign of him until 9:30. The crowd began to get worried. Everyone wondered whether this was a practical joke on Mr. Kapoor's part. It was then some of the colony elders entered the building in search of Mr. Kapoor.

10 minutes passed, when one of them came out and made the dreaded announcement, "MR. KAPOOR IS DEAD! PLEASE CALL FOR THE POLICE! THIS IS NOT AN APRIL FOOL JOKE!" Everyone was stunned, shocked, and almost in a state of animated suspension.

While everyone went to call for the police and his family relatives, I sneaked into the building to have a look at his body. I saw it and smiled, wryly. My cat was licking himself, seated right alongside the body.

His mouth and eyes were still wide open. I only had this to say, "APRIL FOOL, Mr. Kapoor. I hope you enjoyed my little surprise. No more idle bragging and irritable boasting from you. So long, and goodbye."

The police came and took away Mr. Kapoor's body. The post-mortem revealed death by shock and extreme mental stress.

Ever since, the building has been labelled as CONDEMNED. No one has ever been allowed to enter it again. But I go to have a look at it everyday. And everyday that I see it, I smile to myself. Because NO ONE knows about this little secret of mine apart from me, my cat... and now YOU. I hope you will keep it to yourself. I hate chatterboxes and people with wagging tongues you know. HAHAHAHAHAHA!