If there was anything Mr. Kapoor was interested in, it was BRAGGING. All of 50 years old, he loved babbling on and on about his tales of bravery and adventure. To top it all, he would ridicule guys and gals of my age, saying that we were softies and had been brought up in glass cases, with no exposure to the harsh world! He prided himself on the fact that he'd never got a heart attack, and he was as strong and healthy as a 20 year old man. Nothing could scare him, it seemed. He was always prepared for any eventuality.
I know you're getting as bored as I would always get listening to his mindless dribble over and over again. My parents would always tell me to take Mr. Kapoor as an example. Yeah! As if I didn't have better things to do! Take a fat, obnoxious, middle-aged piece of fat as my role model! I'd rather watch those daily soaps and APPRECIATE their beauty!
We'd had endless arguments on the topic of FEAR. He never seemed to appreciate a good Hollywood horror movie, saying that only sissies could be scared by them. I was really tired reiterating one fact to him: movies were only a reflection of real life, and ANYONE would be scared by real life horror. As usual, he pooh-poohed all these suggestions that he could ACTUALLY get scared. My ears were ringing with these words: SISSY! SOFTY! Having to learn fearlessness from an old man like me! And all such crap.
No one had the courage to stand up to him like me, unfortunately. Everyone just tolerated his nonsense silently. But enough was enough. Mr. Kapoor had taken his bragging a bit too far. All fool's day was just around the corner. I needed to do something. But I wasn't able to come up with anything constructive.
In the meanwhile, our middle-aged superhero had taken on a challenge. We had a dilapidated 18th century building on the outskirts of our town, just 20 minutes away from our colony. No one had ever visited that building - rumours of ghosts and strange voices were enough to keep people away. An enterprising young friend of mine had the guts to stand up to Mr. Kapoor, and challenge him to survive 24 hours ALL ALONE in that building. This obviously stirred Mr. Kapoor to no end, and he was determined to prove his bravery. Old men can be obstinate!
The day had arrived. People from our colony had all gathered at the place by 8:45 am. The fatso would enter the building by 9:00 am, and would have to survive there till 9:00 am the next morning. If he did, we would never hear the end of it!
As the gong sounded nine, he entered the building. The people of the colony slowly went back to their homes. Only a few stayed back on the site to check on Mr. Kapoor. I came back home. In any case, there wasn't anything much for me to do. I was only hoping he'd come back out scared before 9 a.m. That way we'd have less to listen to!
Mr. Kapoor entered the building. The door was too old and almost fell off as he closed it back shut. Cobwebs were dangling all over the place. It had an old, dank smell about it. And although it was daytime, it was quite dark from within. Bats kept fluttering all over the place. And it was silent. You could actually LISTEN to the silence. It also had long, winding stairs upwards.
Having forgotten all his bravado, Mr. Kapoor was starting to feel not-so-brave after all. He still kept reassuring himself, saying "HAH! If they think I will be scared by this building, they are mistaken! This is no better than a child's theme park! This..." WHOOSH! A bat suddenly flew across his face, shutting him up permanently. He could hear the sound of his own heartbeat. (Feeling like a horror movie, Mr. Kapoor?)
He stayed put at that very spot till the evening around 7:00 p.m. It was a full moon night, and the light from the moon peeped through the cracks in the wall and cast itself across the wall adjacent to where Mr. Kapoor was sitting. He was totally petrified, and was praying that 9 a.m. would come really soon.
Suddenly, a large shadow cast across the wall. Mr. Kapoor jumped in fright. It seemed to be a tall creature, but the shadow was blurred. As the creature drew closer, Mr. Kapoor started to sweat. It had long fangs, and two claw-like hands. And it was making the most chilling noises. Wailing away, the shadow came closer to Mr. Kapoor. He got up and began to run up the stairs. (How's your heart NOW, Mr. Kapoor?) No matter how hard he ran, the shadow followed him. He wasn't able to see the creature - only it's horrible shadow.
This cat and mouse chase went on till about 11:45 pm. He STILL wasn't able to see the creature. (What about your boast that only what you SAW you could scare you huh?). He was breathing hard. His so called BRAVE HEART was beginning to work overtime.
DEAD END! There was no further place to run or hide. The shadow grew bigger, the voice became all the more chilling. It echoed throughout the building. The fangs and claws became bigger. Mr. Kapoor was now wide-eyed and totally petrified. And just as the shadow was about to consume him, he fell down with his eyes and mouth wide open.
Mr. Kapoor was dead. Stone dead. Hmmpf! For all those idle boasts! The creature came out of the shadows and rested calmly on his chest. It was nothing more than a cat, clothed under a white sheet.
The next day was All Fools Day. At 9 a.m., everyone waited eagerly for Mr. Kapoor to come out. Talks of his bravery were already doing the rounds. I didn't join in. I was just waiting there, waiting for him to come out and boast.
No sign of him until 9:30. The crowd began to get worried. Everyone wondered whether this was a practical joke on Mr. Kapoor's part. It was then some of the colony elders entered the building in search of Mr. Kapoor.
10 minutes passed, when one of them came out and made the dreaded announcement, "MR. KAPOOR IS DEAD! PLEASE CALL FOR THE POLICE! THIS IS NOT AN APRIL FOOL JOKE!" Everyone was stunned, shocked, and almost in a state of animated suspension.
While everyone went to call for the police and his family relatives, I sneaked into the building to have a look at his body. I saw it and smiled, wryly. My cat was licking himself, seated right alongside the body.
His mouth and eyes were still wide open. I only had this to say, "APRIL FOOL, Mr. Kapoor. I hope you enjoyed my little surprise. No more idle bragging and irritable boasting from you. So long, and goodbye."
The police came and took away Mr. Kapoor's body. The post-mortem revealed death by shock and extreme mental stress.
Ever since, the building has been labelled as CONDEMNED. No one has ever been allowed to enter it again. But I go to have a look at it everyday. And everyday that I see it, I smile to myself. Because NO ONE knows about this little secret of mine apart from me, my cat... and now YOU. I hope you will keep it to yourself. I hate chatterboxes and people with wagging tongues you know. HAHAHAHAHAHA!
I know you're getting as bored as I would always get listening to his mindless dribble over and over again. My parents would always tell me to take Mr. Kapoor as an example. Yeah! As if I didn't have better things to do! Take a fat, obnoxious, middle-aged piece of fat as my role model! I'd rather watch those daily soaps and APPRECIATE their beauty!
We'd had endless arguments on the topic of FEAR. He never seemed to appreciate a good Hollywood horror movie, saying that only sissies could be scared by them. I was really tired reiterating one fact to him: movies were only a reflection of real life, and ANYONE would be scared by real life horror. As usual, he pooh-poohed all these suggestions that he could ACTUALLY get scared. My ears were ringing with these words: SISSY! SOFTY! Having to learn fearlessness from an old man like me! And all such crap.
No one had the courage to stand up to him like me, unfortunately. Everyone just tolerated his nonsense silently. But enough was enough. Mr. Kapoor had taken his bragging a bit too far. All fool's day was just around the corner. I needed to do something. But I wasn't able to come up with anything constructive.
In the meanwhile, our middle-aged superhero had taken on a challenge. We had a dilapidated 18th century building on the outskirts of our town, just 20 minutes away from our colony. No one had ever visited that building - rumours of ghosts and strange voices were enough to keep people away. An enterprising young friend of mine had the guts to stand up to Mr. Kapoor, and challenge him to survive 24 hours ALL ALONE in that building. This obviously stirred Mr. Kapoor to no end, and he was determined to prove his bravery. Old men can be obstinate!
The day had arrived. People from our colony had all gathered at the place by 8:45 am. The fatso would enter the building by 9:00 am, and would have to survive there till 9:00 am the next morning. If he did, we would never hear the end of it!
As the gong sounded nine, he entered the building. The people of the colony slowly went back to their homes. Only a few stayed back on the site to check on Mr. Kapoor. I came back home. In any case, there wasn't anything much for me to do. I was only hoping he'd come back out scared before 9 a.m. That way we'd have less to listen to!
Mr. Kapoor entered the building. The door was too old and almost fell off as he closed it back shut. Cobwebs were dangling all over the place. It had an old, dank smell about it. And although it was daytime, it was quite dark from within. Bats kept fluttering all over the place. And it was silent. You could actually LISTEN to the silence. It also had long, winding stairs upwards.
Having forgotten all his bravado, Mr. Kapoor was starting to feel not-so-brave after all. He still kept reassuring himself, saying "HAH! If they think I will be scared by this building, they are mistaken! This is no better than a child's theme park! This..." WHOOSH! A bat suddenly flew across his face, shutting him up permanently. He could hear the sound of his own heartbeat. (Feeling like a horror movie, Mr. Kapoor?)
He stayed put at that very spot till the evening around 7:00 p.m. It was a full moon night, and the light from the moon peeped through the cracks in the wall and cast itself across the wall adjacent to where Mr. Kapoor was sitting. He was totally petrified, and was praying that 9 a.m. would come really soon.
Suddenly, a large shadow cast across the wall. Mr. Kapoor jumped in fright. It seemed to be a tall creature, but the shadow was blurred. As the creature drew closer, Mr. Kapoor started to sweat. It had long fangs, and two claw-like hands. And it was making the most chilling noises. Wailing away, the shadow came closer to Mr. Kapoor. He got up and began to run up the stairs. (How's your heart NOW, Mr. Kapoor?) No matter how hard he ran, the shadow followed him. He wasn't able to see the creature - only it's horrible shadow.
This cat and mouse chase went on till about 11:45 pm. He STILL wasn't able to see the creature. (What about your boast that only what you SAW you could scare you huh?). He was breathing hard. His so called BRAVE HEART was beginning to work overtime.
DEAD END! There was no further place to run or hide. The shadow grew bigger, the voice became all the more chilling. It echoed throughout the building. The fangs and claws became bigger. Mr. Kapoor was now wide-eyed and totally petrified. And just as the shadow was about to consume him, he fell down with his eyes and mouth wide open.
Mr. Kapoor was dead. Stone dead. Hmmpf! For all those idle boasts! The creature came out of the shadows and rested calmly on his chest. It was nothing more than a cat, clothed under a white sheet.
The next day was All Fools Day. At 9 a.m., everyone waited eagerly for Mr. Kapoor to come out. Talks of his bravery were already doing the rounds. I didn't join in. I was just waiting there, waiting for him to come out and boast.
No sign of him until 9:30. The crowd began to get worried. Everyone wondered whether this was a practical joke on Mr. Kapoor's part. It was then some of the colony elders entered the building in search of Mr. Kapoor.
10 minutes passed, when one of them came out and made the dreaded announcement, "MR. KAPOOR IS DEAD! PLEASE CALL FOR THE POLICE! THIS IS NOT AN APRIL FOOL JOKE!" Everyone was stunned, shocked, and almost in a state of animated suspension.
While everyone went to call for the police and his family relatives, I sneaked into the building to have a look at his body. I saw it and smiled, wryly. My cat was licking himself, seated right alongside the body.
His mouth and eyes were still wide open. I only had this to say, "APRIL FOOL, Mr. Kapoor. I hope you enjoyed my little surprise. No more idle bragging and irritable boasting from you. So long, and goodbye."
The police came and took away Mr. Kapoor's body. The post-mortem revealed death by shock and extreme mental stress.
Ever since, the building has been labelled as CONDEMNED. No one has ever been allowed to enter it again. But I go to have a look at it everyday. And everyday that I see it, I smile to myself. Because NO ONE knows about this little secret of mine apart from me, my cat... and now YOU. I hope you will keep it to yourself. I hate chatterboxes and people with wagging tongues you know. HAHAHAHAHAHA!
1 comment:
Hey man... GOOD, BRILLIANT, SUPERB, FANTASTIC, OUT STANDING!!!
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